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Home » Adventure » When It’s OK to Eat Carrot Cake for Lunch

When It’s OK to Eat Carrot Cake for Lunch

Carrot cake makes a great lunch. Sometimes.
Carrot cake makes a great lunch. Sometimes.

Sometimes, it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you depart the campground with no toilet paper in the bathrooms, a faucet-less sink, and non-potable water at noon because you’re engaged in dialogue with the two vegetarian Spaniards you met who are also cycle touring with their dog,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you stop at the very well-signed cyclist tourist center that is mostly closed, even though it’s noon on a weekday. And when you ask to fill your water, the man running place yells at you and tells you they’re closed, but begrudgingly allows his colleague to fill your water bottles, that later, when you take a swig, taste like like a chemical bath,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you cycle up a long, winding hill to avoid the more direct path that involves a narrow rocky path along the Vlatva River, that you know wouldn’t accommodate your partner towing your dog in her trailer,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When, once you summit the long, winding hill, it begins to rain, but you ignore the dark clouds and light sprinkle because the rain in Czech Republic lasts for 10 minutes, and by the time you dress in your waterproof gear, the rain has passed and it’s hot again. But this time, it begins to pour, just after you wave to the Dutch cyclists you’ve been playing leapfrog with up the long, winding hill. They’re taking shelter in a covered bus stop, and as the rain pelts down you, blinding you and soaking your hair, you wonder why you didn’t join them in the covered bus stop,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When the rain falls even harder and the cycle route signs are nowhere to be seen and you’re lost in a neighborhood with many turns and intersections and you have to pull out your GPS device to find your way. So much rain has fallen that it flows over a set of stairs like a slinky and down the road like a river. Your sodden socks remind you of the waterproof booties bungeed to the back of your rack and you hope that you didn’t lose them in the deluge,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you learn that over half of the remaining three kilometers to your hosts’ house require summiting a Big Fucking Hill and you have to cross back and forth to find sidewalk wide enough to accommodate the large girth of your load. A red light forces you to stop midway to allow the streetcar to buzz past and you look ahead to the even steeper section of this Big Fucking Hill and ponder turning around so your defeated self can hitch a ride on the red train,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you’re unable to start going again after the streetcar forced you to stop in the middle of the Big Fucking Hill and your unbreathable rain gear is creating a tropical environment on your skin so that it sticks to you, and you lose mobility, so you just dismount and push your bike the remainder of the way up the Big Fucking Hill,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

 

photo 1 (1)
This was the Big Fucking Hill. It was steep. Very steep. It doesn’t look like it in this bad iPhone photo, but trust us, it was steep.

When, upon summiting the Big Fucking Hill and make a left turn, you realize that just beyond the six sets of streetcar tracks you navigated on your bike, that the hill continues, and you huff and puff your way to the actual tippy top,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you stop atop the Big Fucking Hill to find some sort of food because it’s four o’clock and you haven’t eaten real food since 8:30 in the morning and it’s still raining, so you find shelter below the awning of a flower shop. Next door is a small grocery store, and across the street is a pastry shop. Because you’ve just huffed and puffed your way to the tippy top of a Big Fucking Hill, and you don’t know what the hell to get that would constitute a real meal, you head to the pasty shop and emerge with two pieces of carrot cake, even though you try to eat vegan, but you’re so famished that you can’t be bothered to care if there’s butter in your cake,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you’re just over a kilometer from your hosts’ house and your navigation app guides you down the backside of the Big Fucking Hill and you angrily decree that this house better be at the bottom of the backside of the Big Fucking Hill, but then your directions take you left and ask you to summit a second Big Fucking Hill back to where you just ate your carrot cake for lunch,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

That's the bakery where we bought the carrot cake for lunch. It was delicious. Especially after a hill. Especially in the rain.
That’s the bakery where we bought the carrot cake for lunch. It was delicious. Especially after a hill. Especially in the rain.

When you begin your second climb at a 12% grade in one hour to cover three kilometers and it’s four o’clock and you haven’t eaten real food since 8:30 and you notice two shady looking people at the base of the second Big Fucking Hill who are shooting-up as you walk by. You want to get as far away as possible from these shady looking people, but you can’t because this is your second Big Fucking Hill in an hour and it’s four o’clock and you haven’t eaten real food since 8:30 and you spent all your energy summiting the first Big Fucking Hill, so you have to walk your bike up the second Big Fucking Hill, but it’s wet and your shoes have poor traction, so you’re constantly slipping, and you can’t make a speedy getaway from the shady looking people,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When, 20 minutes later, you finally summit the second Big Fucking Hill and your hosts’ house is just to the right, down yet another hill and the cars fly by on the road, clocking 74 kph on a 30 kph road and you hold your breath as you make your way down,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you arrive at the front door of your host, but there’s no buzzer to ring and the door is locked and you’re in a foreign country, so you don’t have Internet or a phone with which to call them,

Then it’s OK to eat carrot cake for lunch.

When you see your host walking up the street with his barking pup just moments after arriving to the front door and he helps you get all of your dripping wet gear and bikes into his spotless home and then tells you that he and his partner made you a vegetarian dinner that’s ready to eat once we’ve changed,

Then it’s perfectly OK to have eaten carrot cake for lunch.

Jen Sotolongo

Hello! I'm Jen. I'm a writer, photographer, dog mom, and outdoor enthusiast. When I'm not writing about awesome ways to get outside with your dog, I'm probably out for a long trail run. I also fancy myself a pretty decent vegan cook, and am always happy to whip up a batch of cookies for friends. I am based in the Pacific Northwest and I never leave home without my dogs.

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