If you have a reactive or nervous dog, it can make life a bit more challenging. It can be especially stressful when it comes to introducing your nervous dog to other dogs and people.
I have always had reactive dogs and have a very soft spot for them. They have taught me everything I know about dogs today, introduced me to balanced training, and showed the importance of advocating for their needs.
Learning how to manage them and navigate the world for them takes a lot of time and patience but, with the right training it is entirely possible for many anxious dogs to meet new dogs and people without issue.
9 Tips for Introducing a Nervous Dog to Other Dogs and People
It can be difficult to admit that you don’t have a social dog, but once you do, you open yourself to the tools and the education you and your dog need to navigate a world that doesn’t always give nervous dogs a lot of space.
Societal pressure and norms indicate that all dogs are social and everyone can just come into their space to love them. This is not the case with reactive and nervous dogs and I share the methods that I have used to successfully introduce my nervous dog to other dogs and people.
1. Don’t Let Your Dog Meet all the Dogs and People
We dog owners have somehow learned that socializing our dogs means meeting as many dogs and people as possible. If my reactive dogs have taught me one thing, it is that this idea could not be further from the truth.
While some dogs are certainly more social than others, others are dog selective. What this means is that they don’t want to meet all the dogs and people all the time. Being forced to do so can lead to undesirable behaviors like reactivity.
True dog socialization means gradually exposing your dog to new dogs, people, and experiences, including sounds, textures, surfaces, and sights. Slow introductions help avoid overstimulation and fear.
Dogs don’t need direct interaction with other dogs and people in order to socialize. They just need to be around them.
Here are a few suggestions for socializing your nervous dog:
- Invite a friend and their trained dog for lunch in the park, keeping both dogs on “place” the whole time without allowing interaction.
- Go for a structured walk (see #2 below)
- Work on obedience skills outside of the dog park
- Go on a field trip to Home Depot
Depending on the severity of your dog’s anxiety or reactivity, you may have to practice in low-distraction areas for some time before your dog is ready to be out in the real world. Just go at your dog’s pace and you’ll have success.
2. Go for Structured Walks with New Dogs
I have had near 100% success rate introducing my reactive dogs to another dog through structured walks. The few times this method has failed were due to me failing to advocate for my dog because I gave in to societal “norms.”
Whenever I want to hang out with a friend who has a dog that mine has not yet met, I discuss how I’d like the introduction to go beforehand:
- We keep the dogs on leashes and maintain a distance
- When we start walking, we walk side by side, with dogs on the outside, or in single file
- Once the dogs are calm, you can allow quick 1-2 second butt sniff for each dog, just keep moving
- Enjoy the walk!
That’s it! By doing a structured walk together, the dogs can be in each other’s presence without the pressure of having to socialize how the humans want them to (by playing).
3. Do not Allow On-Leash Greetings
On-leash greetings don’t really allow dogs to properly meet because their movements are restricted by the length of the leash and their handler’s body position.
Further, some dogs interpret face-to-face greetings as a threat, which can cause a reaction.
Allowing your nervous dog to constantly meet other dogs on leash when they don’t want to can reinforce reactivity. It also teaches them that they have to manage difficult situations because their handler is not preventing them from happening.
4. Avoid the Dog Park
Dog parks are certainly handy places that allow dogs to be off leash in a contained area, however they are not an ideal place for your dog to engage with other dogs.
Many dog parks are small, which does not allow your dog to remove themself from an uncomfortable situation easily. Further, it’s easy for dogs to gang up on one dog.
Dog owners at dog parks are often chatting with other owners or otherwise disengaged with their dog, which means they are slower to react or notice if their dog is about to cause a fight.
Instead of the dog park, you can see if there are any Sniff Spots in your area, or if you want to practice off-leash skills, school fields during off hours make excellent training locations.
5. Give Clear and Direct Communication with People
When you see off-leash dogs ahead, are passing another dog on a narrow path, or spy dog lovers approaching to give your dog some love, communicate very clearly about your dog’s needs.
Here are a few key phrases I use:
- “Please do not allow your dog to approach mine.”
- “Please recall your dog.”
- “Please just ignore my dog.”
- “No, I’m sorry, I can’t let you pet my dog.”
- “Sorry, we’re training.”
Requests will often go ignored and many dog owners do not follow trail etiquette, so it’s up to you to prevent interaction. Your options include:
- Turning around
- Crossing the street
- Stepping way off the trail
- Body blocking your dog
- Using your legs, a trekking pole, stick, etc. to keep the other dog at bay
It’s becoming more common to see dogs with harness, patches, or bandanas that say “Do Not Pet” or “Needs Space.”
If you do allow someone to pet your dog, give them clear instructions about how to approach your nervous dog.
For example, “You can pet him, but don’t touch his head or give him a hug. He likes to be pet from the side.” Be ready to intervene quickly if you notice your dog appears uncomfortable.
If a friend wants to pet my dog, I ask them to ignore him until he’s settled. Once he’s calm, I ask my dog if he wants to say hi to my friend and let him go into their space, not the other way around. This way, he can make the choice himself.
6. Learn to Speak Dog
Take the time to recognize the signs that your dog is about to react to a person or another dog so that you can beat the reaction.
Common signs of reactivity include:
- Lip licking
- Stiff body stance
- Ears perked
- Intense staring
- Shifty eyes
- Growling
- Barking and lunging
- Teeth bared
The moment you notice your dog exhibiting one of these signs, turn around, cross the street, give a correction, ask for a behavior, etc. You need to do something to change their state of mind to avoid the reaction.
It’s important not to coddle them with pets, cooing, and telling them it’s ok if they do react. This reinforces the behavior. Just get them away from the trigger as best you can while staying calm.
7. Advocate for Your Dog
In addition to using the communication methods outlined in #5 above, advocating for your dog also means trusting your gut and not giving in to societal pressure.
Other dogs owners will assure you that “it’s fine,” and to just “let the dogs sort things out.”
Trust me, it’s not fine, and letting the dogs sort things out has resulted in too many altercations. Once, a dog bit through Sora’s jowls. That was the last time I ever allowed dogs to “sort things out.”
People will think that you’re strange for imposing strict rules for your dog, but remember, doing so protects them and other people from getting hurt. Besides, you don’t owe anyone any explanations.
8. Don’t Get Complacent with Training
I often use the phrase ‘ABC’ or Always Be Training. I take every opportunity to work with my dog.
It can be exhausting, but it also keeps reactivity at bay and builds your bond because they see that you’ve got their back.
Working with reactive or nervous dogs requires regular practice, likely something that you will likely have to do for the life of the dog.
While it is certainly possible for your dog to become a “recovering reactor” so to speak, this comes with repetition, trust, and guidance.
9. Hire a Trainer
There is absolutely no shame in hiring a trainer. In fact, it was the very best thing I have ever done for my dogs.
Trainers exist for a reason! Dogs are complicated beings and adding reactivity or anxiety to the mix makes being their handler even more challenging.
Look for a trainer that is experienced handling reactive and nervous dogs. They will understand what you are going through and know how to best teach you to manage your dog and work through their behaviors.
PIN FOR LATER!
Thanks for the great article! We have a dog who seems very similar to Sora. He’s always hesitant and defensive around new dogs. Sometimes he warms up to them and can play with them off leash with no issues, but some dogs he never gets used to. The key for us is knowing our dog’s body language really well and NOT listening to other owners who tell us that the dogs can work it out. Also, heading to the dog park every morning for just 10-15 minutes ensures that our dog gets regular socialization and doesn’t get overwhelmed. We’ve had him for three years and he’s improved leaps and bounds with this regimen.
We’re looking forward to trying some short tours with our pup this summer – thanks for the inspiration and the great writing!
YES! Knowing your own dog’s body language is so important. We can tell almost immediately if Sora is going to react or not. That’s interesting about going to the dog park every morning. Then it creates a routine for your pup and keeps him socialized. That was our biggest fear of keeping Sora away from the dog parks – not keeping her socialized. Fortunately, all the world is a dog park in South America with all the strays.
Let us know if you ever want any tips or help with planning a tour with your dogs. We’d love to hear how they go!
Jen .
Please advise. What if my dog wags and seems excited to meet the other dog. But when they get nose to nose she goes for it?
And the other part is me. I used to foster and the foster went at her a few too many times but never actually bit her – just sounded awful. After those 5 months she became dog aggressive to any hyper or in her face or big dog. She’s fine with littles. It’s tricky cuz she looks like she’s fine until she reaches their nose .
Now…. it’s me. I’m the nervous reck at the other end of the leash. It’s my very fearful energy. HOW DO I WORK ON THAT?
Hi Karla, if I were you, I wouldn’t let my dog greet other dogs, period. There’s no reason to do so. Dogs don’t need to meet one another and she’s clearly uncomfortable, as are you, so I would just cross the street when you see another dog coming your direction.
Hi, I identify easily with much of your article. I’ve got a 70kg German Shepherd from a military dog breeder and he’s a big strong dominant male and while he looks very cute & huggable, he is not anything like what people assume. I’ve mostly given up making eye contact with strangers as many interpret that as an invitation to come an crowd over the top of him. Where they actually block us, I try to keep their eye contact with my eyes, telling him “leave it” as they approach. It is a real joy meeting someone who is used to strong dominant dogs, just the way they walk up, you immediately know they have awareness. I’ve had previous Shepherds where fear aggression has been part of their responses but this boy is 3 years old and has none. We’re soon to head off together on a bicycle tour around Australia which I’m really looking forward to. Thanks for the article.
Yay! More dogs on bike! Let us know if you plan to have a blog, as we would love to follow your adventure.
Isn’t it the best when someone who understands dogs approaches? Your nerves calm almost immediately because you know you don’t have to worry about how their actions will affect your dog. Hopefully touring with him will help his aggression issues towards people – it has with Sora, over time, as she is much, much more trusting of others now that she’s been the center of attention for so long. Best of luck on your tour and thanks so much for weighing in!
Thanks Jen. It is good to catch up with people who tour with dogs, you are immediately past all of the “don’t do that” stuff. He’s not really aggressive towards people as much as just only recognises immediate family and close friends vs the rest of the world. He only wants to play with those he knows and just ignores the rest of the world. I’m trying to build his level of patience with the rest of the world as he has almost none. When we are eating at restaurants (up to 5 mornings per week), he often finds it more comfortable to sit on someone’s foot which saves him using all his own effort to sit. If I’m not watching, strangers on nearby tables sit there for some time with this large black dog sitting on their foot with the human not wanting to move. He just loves the bike rides. I’ve used Crazyguyonabike for myself in the past but have set up a Facebook Page which I’ll use once I’m underway. Have just finished renovating the home and will leave when it is sold. https://www.facebook.com/tourswithbear/
Cheers, Peter.
It’s so hard to have so many people tell you “you can’t do that.” Our answer is, “watch us!” The more people who push the limits, the more we show all that is possible.
I LOVE that your pup rests his head on peoples’ feet! Bear is SO super cute. We look forward to following your journey and having a fellow dog + bike traveler prove that our dogs can go with us anywhere!
Perfect article. Even though our pups (pup 🙁 ) is super friendly and wants to greet everyone.. it’s been a learning experience for her that not all other doggies wish to be greeted! Luckily, with time on the road she’s been learning to not lunge into a greeting and instead monitor the other dogs reaction. Hope Sora’s paw is on the mend and all is good in Patagonia.
I’m so happy to hear a perspective from the opposite side – a too friendly dog. We’ve found that travel has changed Sora’s behaviors so much – for the better (except for her separation anxiety…). She’s better with other dogs and people and I’m glad that the same has proven true for your pup (pups 🙁 ).
Sora’s paw is doing just swell and all looks great. Thanks so much for asking.
Thanks jen good tips
Glad they were helpful to you!
Hi Jen! This is a very late comment (3 years late! >.<) But I just rescued a 7 month old pup and she is pretty afraid of men, especially the big ones. Is taking her on walks and making her approach the situation head-on a good solution? I really would like to socialize her more so that I can bring her with me to the office! She just started training to be an ESA, too so it is very important to me that she doesn't flip out and try to escape her harness when there's a man walking towards us on the street! And I live in Miami Beach where there are people, crowds, dogs, and big men everywhere!
It’s never too late! Read Other End of the Leash and Education of Will by Patricia McConnell. She is an amazing dog behaviorist and she talks about this a lot in her books. In short, what she recommends is getting men to toss your pup treats walking down the street, so she associates men with really awesome things. You’ll have to recruit men that you know, but that she doesn’t. I hope you find something that works!
Hi Jen! I just have to say, this has been one of the most helpful articles I’ve read on this subject. We have one cattle dog who is leash aggressive and I believe it’s fear-based and your article really helped me see these traits and understand her better. Most articles I read just aren’t helpful in terms of actual actionable things pet owners can do to help their pups! We also just got a 4 month old Aussie (less than a week ago) and she’s very fearful of other dogs, so much so that she pees herself if they approach her. I’ve noticed her starting to growl and retreat in the last day or so and this article was also great for her as we start to try and socialize her early enough that we can build her confidence around other dogs.
I just wanted to say thank you because so many articles seem truly generic and unhelpful on this subject and it’s something that, as a pet parent, I’ve really struggled with managing on my own. Our dogs love each other and, as much as I want them to love other dogs too, if I can get them to a place where they’re comfortable and not reactive, I’ll be so happy! Thank you!
Hi Paige! I’m so happy you found this helpful! I know that I really had no idea what to do with Sora at first and just kinda improvised along the way. I wish that I had read this guide long before, so I could have avoided so many difficult interactions. Just be sure to speak up for your dog and don’t be afraid of feeling like a jerk. Your job is to advocate for them and it might make you feel uncomfortable at times. Best of luck with your pups and do reach out if you have any questions!
I love that you advise using positive verbal praise to help calm your dog when there are new dogs around. My aunt is thinking of getting professional training to help her scared puppy. I think this could be a great addition to whatever training she thinks will help.
I hope some of these tactics work for you aunt!
Just read the blog on helping your anxious dog meet other dogs and people and thanks you it was a real help, simple and doable. I have just rehomed a 7 mth old rescue dog from a rescue sanctuary I actually volunteer at. I returned today to let her use the paddock and staff asked if she could play with another dog they believed was dog friendly. However not so quite playful but also dominant so we had a couple of incidents so instantly came home to see what I could find as I needed to make sure the incident didn’t have long term impact on ho Lolly approached other dogs in the future. Your article was just the reassurance I needed so thank you for taking the time to write it.
I’m so glad that my article helped and I hope you continue to have success with Lolly! Keep practicing and you’ll get there!