Today, I’m going to take you on an adventure through what my day looks like as Team Hocholongo (as in Hoch and Sotolongo) bike tours across Dutchland and the SweetEms (Sora means Deutschland and Sweden).
Wake up at 5:00AM
You know what they say: The early dog gets the noms. I like to get up as soon as the sun rises over the horizon. I LOVE to greet mommaz and daddyz with vocal sounds like “grunt grunt hummmmmmmmmp” and “hmm hummmp hummmmaahh” while wagging my tail so fiercely it makes the tent feel like we are in the eye of a category 3 hurricane. At this point, mommaz invites me to snuggle next to her, which is AWESOME-SAUCE, cause it’s also right next to daddyz AND I get to massage his back (she actually punches Dave repeatedly while grunting). All of my tornado-in-the-tent-action causes daddyz to pack up his bed, which is awesome because I also get to start my morning cleanse by continuously drooling while waiting for morning brekkie.
Once the fam is up and moving, I get a quick walk to do my morning business, then it’s time to pack up. This usually involves me being tied to a tree while the parental units get the bikes and gear all squared away. Sometimes I get BORED and fall asleep I’ll stare at anything that moves like people, horses, birds and let them know with my eyes that I’m WATCHING them.
Next, it’s time to ride and mommaz and daddyz load me into Rick Shaw (she has started calling her Burley (link) trailer Rick Shaw because we refer to it as her rickshaw). This soooo awesome-possom because when they ride I get to do Sora time which consists of a 2-hour siesta followed by ADIDASing. I coined this term while in Dutchalnd because it’s the home of Adidas and it stands for:
After 10 million hours of riding, I usually start watch reality TV. Sometimes I see sheep, goats, foxes, horses, birds, pigs, alpacas, or my favs LLAMMAS! ZMOG, I LOVE LLAMMAS!!! I keep begging my daddy to buy me the Internet site LOLLAMMAS.com so I can make an Internet website of LLAMA memes like canIhasacheeseburger.com and cats.
If the weather is nice, sometimes I get to run along side mommaz and daddyz on bike paths. This AWESOME-Blossom ‘cause I get to burn off some of my “winter weight” that daddy keeps telling me to lose, plus, exercise is a hobby of mine.
I must admit, not every day is peaches and pepperoni. Sometimes we go through a scary part of town where there are Koopa Troopas. I call cobblestones Koopa Troopas because they’re like turtles sticking out of the ground.
Yesterday we rode for like 235km (she means 2.35km) of Koopa Troopas and I came up with this song I like to sing:
PONED by the Cobblestone
Cobblestone, cobblestone, every time I see you I start to moan
Cobblestone, cobblestone, my body feels its is compressing like a garden gnome,
Cobblestone, cobblestone, please no more, my brain is blown
Clobbestone, clobberstone, not again I’ve ben ponnnnned
After the morning riding, my humans eat second breakfast. This is always a blast because I get to smellz the ground, drink some waters, and perfect my begging for bread. I’ve recently discovered my taste for the edges of bread, and my humans always have some on hand!
More Rick Shaw time for another 128 hours until we finally find our home for the night. Thank DOGS I get rest after my ultra long day. This usually consists of mommaz and daddyz picking a campsite, telling people that they’ve got a hound-dog (she’s referring to the word “hund” which translates across Germany and Scandinavia as dog), and assembling the tent.
THEN COMES THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE DAY: Dinnnnnner.
One of my parents asks me if I’m on e-harmony and then I give them the slightly turned head stare and shoot them the you-know-I’m-not-looking-for-anyone-right-now laser eyes. (This has stumped us for years. Sora thinks we are saying “are you on e-harmony?” but really we are asking “are you hungry?”)
The evening wraps up with a walk and some chillaxing. As the night comes to a close, Mommaz and daddyz usually tell me a bedtime story, but not before TickleTime™. TickleTime™ in the tent is where mommaz and daddyz tickle me until I squirm and giggle! Heheheheheh (we are actually checking Sora for ticks).
Finally, it’s sleepy time where I snore like a horse and dream of things to herd.
Until next time,
PPPSSS: Big Ups to my boy Bengal over in Seattle for sending me over some ZMOG yummy treats from ‘Merica.